I never asked for much from love.
Only someone
With whom I wouldn’t have to hide my pain
Before finding the words to explain it.
Someone I could sit beside and cry,
Without feeling ashamed of my tears afterward.
I, too, wanted to wait for someone
With happiness—
Without the fear
That their voice would be different today,
That somehow, again,
I must have done something wrong.
So many times, I left my words unfinished,
Afraid they might become upset.
So many times, I wiped my own tears,
Afraid my sadness
Might become a burden to them.
And still…
The one who wanted to leave, left.
For so long, I searched through my own words—
If only I hadn’t said that.
If only I had endured a little more.
As though making them stay
Had been my responsibility alone.
Now, when I come home and open the door,
I can hear the key turn so clearly.
Sometimes I wish someone inside would ask,
“You’re late… is everything okay?”
I would say, “Yes,” from the doorway,
And they would look at my face and say,
“Come here. Sit down first.”
When someone speaks gently to me,
I remember it for a long time.
Then I have to remind my heart—
Not every kindness is love.
But when you have waited so long,
Even the smallest tenderness
Can feel like somewhere you might belong.
Everyone says, “You’re so strong.”
I smile and let them say it.
How do I explain—
Sometimes I pull myself together
Because even if I fall apart,
Everything that needs doing in the morning
Will still be waiting for me.
There is still a girl inside me
Who wants to tell someone about her whole day—
A little happiness, a silly thought,
A flower she noticed along the way…
She still hopes
Someone will listen
Without looking at the clock.
I want to love again.
But this time, I want enough peace
To speak my mind
Without first searching their face
To see which mood is waiting for me.
If only someone would stay…
Even on the days
When I have nothing cheerful to share.
Someone who would take my hand and say,
“You don’t feel like talking today?
That’s okay…
I’m right here.”
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